Hello all. And by all, I mean... Actually, I don't even know. Does anyone read this? Is it just for me to look at later and laugh at how lame I am? Probably.

I did it again. I fell in love with Daniel all over again. Fuck, worst cycle ever, I tell you. I seriously wish he didn't exist sometimes. And other times, I wish I could drop my life, run away to Norwich and marry him. And have as many babies as possible. With that situation, at least I'm sure that he would find me attractive and he would actually enjoy being with me intimately. The other one, on the other hand, lives close enough to subconsciously prove he wants nothing to do with me. At least sexually. We've been together for more than 7 months now. Nothing. We haven't even had sex in months. I pulled out all the stops last night. Sexy corset, lacey undies. Nothing. Just jokes. It's aways a laugh at my expense.

Girls have needs, too. It's more emotional than physical, but without the physical, emotions seem false and words are just words.

I just need a proper rant.

I'm stuck. I could do a lot of things, but I have no idea what I want to do. Maybe I should give me and Daniel a real chance. He's the only boy that has ever loved me for real. And I used to love him so much, I'd give my life for him. But then I think, naw... He'll just break my heart again and I'll be broken and alone.

Fuck. I don't know. 500 days of summer made me realize what a sham my relationship is. I mean, fine, have 10 girlfriends if you feel like it, fuck, move to utah and marry them all. But why bother being in a relationship if you just treat each one like a friend that you fuck? It's just fucking. Or a lack thereof, actually. At least with me. Maybe you need to realize what a real relationship is. At least Daniel knows how to make me feel loved every so often. It's not just because of convenience.

"I've got a shred of time in my unbelievably busy fucking high and mighty life. Feel like making the 2 hour trek out here? I won't spend much time with you and I'll act really distant, but at least I'm letting you come over? If I'm bored enough, maybe I'll touch your vagina. Will that shut you up?"



Oh babe I would die for you, whoa
Oh babe I will never stray
Oh babe I would die for you, whoa
Oh babe I will never leave

C-c-c-c-c-come on babe
I never knew that you needed me
I was born on the wrong side
The wrong side, the wrong side of everything

Tags: lacking
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Reasons To Be Beautiful - Hole

i have a bit of a tummy ache. what can i say? ice cream is great.

yuck, school tomorrow. or today, i guess. sleep is such a waste of valuable time i could spend... wasting in some other form.


i think i'll start updating this thing.
no reason, just out of pure boredom.
it's been a while since i've had a blog and felt the need to keep up with it.
we'll see how long it lasts.

mewes out.
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Tags: thegiantbagclip!
Current Location: east van
Current Mood: full
Current Music: The Cure - Burn